[ENGLISH STORY] I CAN'T FORCE LOVE (If love is real in this world ....)
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ผู้เขียน หัวข้อ: [ENGLISH STORY] I CAN'T FORCE LOVE (If love is real in this world ....)  (อ่าน 24454 ครั้ง)

rabbit

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 :m3: Today I go online with this web and chat with Thai friends to learn how to post a new story. So happy that I met good people there who help me out the jungle to find my way here. So now I can post my story here. Kob khuun na krab all my new friends.

The story I am about to tell you is a true story of mine. It is beautiful and sad with laugh, smile, hug, kisses, loving, hate, lie and revenge. It could be a good lesson for anybody plus a must read for those who are dating or falling in love. But more importantly, I want to give it all to my lover with my deep and true love to him and a deep hope that he understands me and will become a good person as ever in my mind.

It was a story of love....



1- BEGINING

As usuall, I was lying at the coach facing the swimming pool where I could enjoy a fresh air coming from no where of this place. This day, the saunna was quite busy with many customers hanging out talking, waiting, cruising up and down the halls and many areas. I ignored most of them since it was not my interest and intention. I came here just to follow my friend since he was kinda interested in this kind of adventurous action. I hate it. I hate doing that kind of I called 'luck sex'. It does not into me.

But today was a special day. It was the last day of Chinese lunar year and tomorrow was a new year day. Before we went here my friend Robert encouraged me to come. He knew I was not happy. He knew that I was not interested in this. But he wanted me to forget my sadness and relax. I followed him as I had nowhere to go.

I kept lying there and was slowly falling into sleep. I dreamed of nowhere, nothing. But something happened cutting my dream. Someone came and lying next to me. It was normal, too. Since this is a public area where anybody can come and rest. It is not exclusive for me.

I opened my eyes. I saw a young man drinking a lemon juice lying next to me. He was normal, I thought then kept closing my eyes. The noise raising from the group of people at the other end of the coach made me a little annoyed. I opened my eyes again, looking over that place to check what they are doing so funny, but I caught his eyes looking at me. Sounds strange. Sounds familiar. Suddently, I felt like he was there waiting for me. I smiled back to him.

"Are you Thai?" he asked in Thai language. I did not understand.

"Sorry, I can't speak Thai. Can you speak English?" I replied with a bit exciting.

"Oh, yes, I can" He was a bit supprised and sounded interesting in me too.

We then started to talk. He told me that he just back from a long trip to Dubai where he attended a training with his new job. He made me interesting. I interest in people with good education, English speaking (as many Thai can't speak good English in this place :-P) and nice job. Dubai is my favourite city in the world so his story immediately catch my attention. Our talk went on and on. I shared with him what I did and we all found common that we rarely came to this kind of place.

Knowing me coming from Vietnam, he told me his dream of visiting Halong bay, Hoi An town and the beaches. He loves beach. He told me his time working at Samui, and that he just came back to work in Bangkok for a few months ago.

15minutes passed

Then another 15minutes passed.

We kept talking like an old buddy with smile and laugh. Outside, many people kept moving up and down the hall, talking and chatting but seemed to me that he was the only person I could see at that time. I could hear clearly every single word he said. I could image clearly every moment of his face. I was interesting in him.

I decided to give him a kiss that night.

"What was this kiss for?" Asked with exciting.

"For our friendship" Smiled and replied.

Yes, I kissed him first for the friendship just raising in me. I did not know what would happen in the future since this relationship somewhat so new to me. I did not expect it and was a bit afraid with it. We quickly exchanged phone number and he wanted to follow me to DJ on that night. But I was not ready. I was afraid that my friend, Robert would know it and he might be supprised with my sudden change. I never exposed to him or anyone else that I am interested in man since a couple of months ago I was hand-in-hand with a Thai girl friend. I was worried. I was scared. Both for how my friend will look at me and for how long this relationship will last. I do not want short term relationship no matter my lover is who. I was a stable man. I wanted a long term love which I can take care and think of only one person. But in this world, Robert told me many time, there was no real love, just sex and short term. No commitment. So I was scared.

We did not have sex on that night at that saunna. Just touching, kissing and hugging but I felt so good. I felt exciting. I wanted to close my eyes and went on that path.

He loved me too.

 :a5:
(continue...)
...

2- JJ Park

I went to this soi many times with Robert, my close friend for years. It was a small lane nestling on a corner of long and noisy Silom road (my Thai friends pronounce as 'load' :-)). It is a place for men. This soi is about 100m long (i guess so) but has many activities for all kind of ages from heart beating DJ to romantic slowly JJ Pub. You can also find a arabian style cafe and a Karaoke or a go-go bar. Besides famouse DJ station, other places with different kind of music are available for your choice to spend endless and high energy nights long in this sleepless city of angel, Krungthep. I love it. I love the noise from maximum volume huge speakers in DJ to the bright and uncluttered decor at Cafe Latin. I never go to JJ Park which until that ngiht is out of my dictionary. It is just too slow in rhyme for me. I like something more upbeat and fun.

I love fun, laugh and party.

But that night was so different. I changed my style. I followed him to JJ Park. Robert looked at me like stranger when I introduced him to him. I knew he was asking me 'who on earth this hell guy?' I understood Robert. He could not believe for many reasons. This guy was out of my dictionary but now I started to write his name in. But being friend for years, Robert knew that something runing in my blood now and to make me pleased he just smiled.

"How are you?" Robert ask him.

We took a cab to Suriwongse where we stayed. I needed to get change. I needed to be looked good and casual. So I  got changed. He wanted to pay for the cab but we wanted to share since we were ... just friend. But he insisted to pay so let him go.

We quickly glidering out of the hotel heading to Silom Soi 2. We went to DJ station. Robert and my favourite hangout night spot whenever we are in Bangkok. DJ changed a lot since my last time there. A long queue of guys waiting in front of DJ. But that night I decided to follow my new friend to JJ the first time in my life. He said he had a bottle of wine there so we can join in with him. Sound sweet, isn't it?

It was Fiber 100 liquor. Hmmmmm, not my taste but okay since it was free :-P and from him. I tried. Robert took a class and cheers. The pub was a bit crowded when we were there but just a few minutes Robert became boring he wanted to go to DJ. He left. Now only me and my new friend.

One kiss.

Two kiss.

15seconds, 20 seconds, and... 45seconds.

We twisted. We loved. We exchanged hottest kisses ever. What run? What flowed? Inside me. It was hot. Very hot. It was burning. So did he. We completely forgot the crowd. We saw only us. We felt only us. No one else.

"I never seen you are so happy and ... weird like today" The bartender smiled secretly talked to my new friend in Thai. He translated to me. He was on heaven. He was happy.

"titititititititiiiiiiiiiiitiitiit" He sounded while pinching my nose like I am his son :m1:

He danced. Sang. Dance and sang like no else nearby, just us. He made me in heaven too. We both were in heaven.

Fiber 100 made my head a little bit dizzy. I wanted to rest. We went up stair. We sat. We looked. We smiled and kissed again, again, again.

Other people looked at us. We did not care. We went together to our heaven. We kissed and exchanged love like tomorrow this world would collapse and all dead.

But it was not a one night stand. It was a whole week of happiness and smile.

He smiled.

I smiled.

We totally fell in love.

But how come love came so suddenly? Would it was a signal to tell us our short future?

Who care since we do not know our future.

We then continued our lovely time together. And that week of visiting Bangkok was no like other trip before. Never I would have that feeling again in my life since I gave it all to him on the first day we met.

He loved me real. His eyes blinked when he saw me.

I loved him real, too. Oh my God!

I then decided to bring our relationship to the next step. I wanted something longer and longer.

There I went... :m21:

(to be continued....)

.............................

3- Debt

Time flied. I was back to Vietnam after a week being with him. The night before going home, I went out with him to see a movie at Siam Paragon then decided to go to his apartment to stay there. This was the second time I went to his home since we met at the sauna. We did not have any kind of sex for the whole week since I wanted to be sure of our relationship. It was weird to many others maybe including him since I did not ask him to do anything like that. As said, I respected him and treated him like a real lover, who I deeply loved. I wanted to love him by his personality, charm, characteristic not by his appearance (well he is a … normal :-P) or sex. In another word you can say I treated him with real love like the love between a lady and a man. I can wait until our relationship became right time. And that night was a right time just before heading back my home.

It was a long night for both of us. After movie, we rushed to Bug & Bee for dinner then went home. We bathed together and …

It was a perfect time for our love blossomed. That night to me was a beautiful night I would never forget in my life. It seemed that time stopped and night was too short for both of us. The smell, the touch and breath made us so sweet, so honey to each other. I loved that moment cause it was the result of our waiting, of our hope and dream.

We had breakfast at Coffee World opposite his office on Asoke road. The breakfast was not so good but to me it was great with what we had last night. That definitely the love I ever expected.

I really fell in love.

But I calmed myself down. I was still unsure about this relationship. I was still scared whenever thinking about it. I was worried for loosing him since he has so much choice, seducement and fun in Bangkok. For me, I only saw him. I could not see anybody else since I fell in love. So I was worried. I was worried that if I deeply fell in love and if the love did not last long as my expectation, I would not be able to get over it. I would not be able to forget it. My life would be a chain of miserable days. But when I heard his voice, when I saw him online, I let it go. I followed the beat of my heart. I followed him.

I followed him every single day of my life. Each day passed by, each day I loved him more. But I did not want to let him known it. I wanted him to feel it. Sometimes I felt he felt it and sometimes not.

Then the nightmare appeared between us. Money. He got into trouble with his past debts. He was struggling to pass it every day. He did not ask for help just sharing with me what happened in his life when I tried to uncover it from him. I wanted to step into his private life to make it mine and ours. Someone may said it was a mistake to step into it. But I looked at it differently. Since I loved him, I needed to help my lover.

I did all my best to transfer him the money. I did it without any hesitation and doubt. I just felt like he needed it and I needed to help. However, to erase those bad effects to our relationship, we agreed to take this as an advance to avoid him to pay high interests to the banks. He would return full amount by August using his monthly salary. I hoped that it would not harm our relationship and I did not want to put it between us.

But it was a nightmare for both of when we then fell into a tragedy.

....... :m17: :m17:
(to be continued below)
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« แก้ไขครั้งสุดท้าย: 27-11-2007 20:35:33 โดย rabbit »

ออฟไลน์ THIP

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Re: A real love story...
«ตอบ #1 เมื่อ24-11-2007 23:11:42 »

English story  :try2: , OK  Fight  :a2:  :a2:
« แก้ไขครั้งสุดท้าย: 25-11-2007 00:16:35 โดย THIP »

detective Q

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Re: A real love story...
«ตอบ #2 เมื่อ24-11-2007 23:12:25 »

first  person

Iextraordinary

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Re: A real love story...
«ตอบ #3 เมื่อ24-11-2007 23:18:28 »

 :m4: :m4: yeah! finally,  you can post it...

i'm looking forward to reading your love story. :m18:



nyway, i'd be great, if u posted a new topic for introducing yrself shortly in another section of the board. :a2:
« แก้ไขครั้งสุดท้าย: 24-11-2007 23:20:44 โดย Le Petit Prince »

rabbit

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Re: A real love story...
«ตอบ #4 เมื่อ24-11-2007 23:28:31 »

Well something about me?

 :a4:Fun  :a11:Friendly  :a9:Firm

Non Thai citizen
Living outside Thailand but fell in love with the country rich culture & freedom.
Rabbit is my nick name named by my lover.

*~Kisa~*

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Re: A real love story...
«ตอบ #5 เมื่อ24-11-2007 23:33:20 »

im waiting for ur story na


Rabbit is my nick name named by my lover.

that's cute  :m3:

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Re: A real love story...
«ตอบ #6 เมื่อ24-11-2007 23:40:33 »

It's sound sweet and  interesting story.  Waitting! please continue urgently.  :m1:

ออฟไลน์ THIP

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #7 เมื่อ25-11-2007 00:03:37 »

Rabbit is my nick name named by my lover.

 :m3:  :m3:  :m3:  :m3:  :m3:

ออฟไลน์ Poes

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #8 เมื่อ25-11-2007 07:58:34 »

มาเจาะไข่  :m11:

ดิกอยู่ไหน หาดิกก่อนนะ  :a6: :a6:

*********************************

Kra-tai (rabbit in Thai) I'm looking forward to read more of your stories. Dont wait to long please!!   :m3:

« แก้ไขครั้งสุดท้าย: 25-11-2007 19:38:08 โดย Poes »

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #9 เมื่อ25-11-2007 08:15:57 »

ขอดิกด้วย  ด่วนๆๆ   :laugh:  :laugh:  :laugh:

Woww!!!!!  the first fully version of English story  in this board, gorgeous... o13

The story begins at Saunna, I can't believe that it ended up only kissing and hugging 555.

CoMMuNiTY Of ThAiBoYsLoVE

Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
« ตอบ #9 เมื่อ: 25-11-2007 08:15:57 »
ประกาศที่สำคัญ


ตั้งบอร์ดเรื่องสั้น ขึ้นมาใครจะโพสเรื่องสั้นให้มาโพสที่บอร์ดนี้ ถ้าเรื่องไหนไม่จบนานเกิน 3 เดือน จะทำการลบทิ้งทันที
https://thaiboyslove.com/webboard/index.php?topic=2160.msg2894432#msg2894432



รวบรวมปรับปรุงกฏของเล้าและการลงนิยาย กรุณาเข้ามาอ่านก่อนลงนิยายนะครับ
https://thaiboyslove.com/webboard/index.php?topic=459.0



สิ่งที่ "นักเขียน" ควรตรวจสอบเมื่อรวมเล่มกับสำนักพิมพ์
https://thaiboyslove.com/webboard/index.php?topic=37631.0






coloniser

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #10 เมื่อ25-11-2007 08:18:39 »

Aye, Rabbit (Cool given name form your lover!!).

That's such a very fantasic story I've read online, especially the opening scene, which is quite
straight forward compared with others (including mine haha).

I will definitely continue reading your story so that please regularly post it.

I don't know what time it is in Vietnam, anyway have a nice day !!  :a9:

« แก้ไขครั้งสุดท้าย: 25-11-2007 08:25:43 โดย coloniser »

Andreas

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #11 เมื่อ25-11-2007 09:54:19 »

เก่งแฮะ.....แกรมมาร์แน่นเปรี๊ยะเลยครับ......

 o13

T-Jang

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #12 เมื่อ25-11-2007 10:17:33 »


Hello Rabbit !  o15

I enjoy your story ,pls continue to tell us what's going on.  :m18:
Don't let us waiting for a long time .

 o13

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #13 เมื่อ25-11-2007 11:49:15 »

hu hu thank  you and waiting  your story .

เป็นเรื่องที่ใช้เวลาอ่านค่อนข้างเยอะ ภาษาอังกฤษฉันคืนอาจารย์ไปหมดแล้ว  :try2:
« แก้ไขครั้งสุดท้าย: 25-11-2007 22:38:49 โดย THIP »

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #14 เมื่อ25-11-2007 13:32:26 »


ปี้หนึ่งขอน้องยืมดิกด้วยด้ายม๊ายยยยยย

 o17 o17 o17 o17 o17



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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #15 เมื่อ25-11-2007 14:08:41 »

wait  wait  wait

รอ  ร้อ  รอ

 :a11: :a11: :a11:

รักแรกพบ เมื่อสบตา  :give2:

ฮิ้วววววววววววววววววววววววว

thx  for  your story na kun Rabbit

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #16 เมื่อ25-11-2007 22:47:52 »

ขอดิกด้วย  ด่วนๆๆ   :laugh:  :laugh:  :laugh:

Woww!!!!!  the first fully version of English story  in this board, gorgeous... o13

The story begins at Saunna, I can't believe that it ended up only kissing and hugging 555.


 :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: I can't believe it too. So Rabbit, continue the story as soon as possible.  :m3:

Take Care

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #17 เมื่อ26-11-2007 00:33:04 »

 o17 o17 o17 o17 o17 o17

As a matter of fact, there rarely is any story told in English in this board, so it is quite a good thing that someone brings us that pleasure of reading gay story in foreign language. And the narrator really does a good job by left the readers hanging in the air without telling of what to come....it's ....Oh...I don't know....I want more.

 :m3: :m3: :m3: :m3: :m3:

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #18 เมื่อ26-11-2007 01:42:43 »

เป็นกำลังใจให้ครับ
แต่ผมอ่อนภาษาคงต้องใช้เวลานานในการอ่านสักหน่อย
แต่ก็ดีครับจะได้ฝึกใช้ภาษากะเขามั่งอิอิ
 :m1:

rabbit

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #19 เมื่อ26-11-2007 21:21:54 »

4- Ayuthaya

We sometimes disagreed on something especially when we talked about his past debts. He did not tell me everything. He just told part of it. He had other trouble not just the amount we talked. It was not small. Two to three times of his monthly income. He told me the reasons for these debts and he was so coward to tell it with anyone including his family. I understood. Since I am a man who loves my family most, I do understand and sympathize with his care and sacrifice for his family. So I decided to cancel my trip to USA to visit my sick Aunt.

“What happened to you, son? Why you planned to go and then cancelled it?” My Aunt was a bit sad.

She got a Parkinson and could not move. She came to US about 10 years ago under a HO category (this is a kind of thank-you gift given by US Government to those Vietnamese family who joined and was an alliance with the US army during the Vietnam war and my family was one of them but my father was sick so we could not go to US ) She wanted me to go to US to visit her and perhaps live there with her. I went to US in year 2000, one year before 9-11 but that time I was too busy with my work and could not visit her. I was so regretful for this bad action since now she was sick. And now, for my lover, I had to cancel it one more time. I must apologized to her once more time. I hoped she understood me. I hoped she was not mad at me.

I followed my lover. I did everything I could just for him. But I was still wrong.

I got a little trouble in transferring the money to him. I could not do that from Vietnam. I ran up and down the Bangkok Bank office in Saigon to ask them how I could transfer the money. But it was hopeless. I could not do it. I tried with illegal transfer but it was so risky since this money was very important for us. I asked Western Union but I need to have a reason to transfer money. I could not. There was only one way to transfer money to him was to do it via a foreigner. I then called my friends in Saigon.

Finally, I completed it. My Singaporean friend helped me to complete the transfer and I needed to pay him for a lunch later. It was fine since I could do something for my lover. I called him and let him know it.

3 days later I sent me an email confirming received the money in full. He was happy. I hoped our life will now just ahead.
This is it, oh I finally found someone
Someone to share my life
I finally found the one
To be with every night
'Cause whatever I do
It's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone…

That was the song he sent to me. I loved that song. I loved its lyrics, so sweet, so meaningful. I could never forget it. I thought our relationship now would have no obstacle, no boundary, no doubt, no nothing. Just love. Just hope. Just dream.

But it was not. He broke my trust to him by telling me another trouble. I wanted him to go Vietnam as his dream but he could not go due to he still needed to pay another debts. I was mad because he did not tell me everything, the truth. I was not mad because he had so much problems but because he was not truthful to me at first. We was upset each other just after 2 months of happiness. But we quickly passed it and I promised to him that I would never ask him about his past debts anymore. We agreed to put it asides and continued walking on our own path.

I would come to Bangkok again on my next holiday and after my trip to Taipei. We planned to go Samui or Ayuthaya. I decided to go Ayuthaya since I have not been there before. Also, my friend Robert would be accompanied us to there.

Ayuthaya was an ancient town where the Thai kings used to live there. It was a vast area with many old temples. The town was so pretty and clean. I loved the fresh air there. We went to Ayuthaya by bus and was back by a van. It was an exiting trip and I learned from him that this was the place where he used to live and study under his college of tourism. The specialty of Ayuthaya is a kind of candy favorite among Muslims living in this area. He bought few boxes but I did not like the taste. Luckily, we saw a group of farmers who went to Ayuthaya to celebrate Songkran (Thai New Year). They danced and sang with happiness. Some of them coloured their face with rice powder and the children threw water to each other. There we did merit together wishing Budda and God helped and witnessed our love to each other. There I promised I would love him forever until the last day of my life.

He is my destination. He is my destiny.

Him: I just want to be as it's ways
Me: it's ways???
Him: I can't explain what it's mean
Him: but i feel it
Him: I never feel you far away form me
Him: I never think the other
Him: just think you love me
Him: and you nice to me
Him: even we far
Him: we can send sms
Him: we can chat
Him: we can feel each other
Him: for me i have u now I'm happy
Him: that's enough
Him: just be its way
Him: like I do now
Him: talk to u sometimes
Him: online
Him: send you sms
Him: call u sometimes
Him: just let it be as life
Him: even nothing special but we still feel happy
Him: waiting till the day we can be together
Him: I don't want to be like the other
Him: coz the other
Him: they do the same way
Him: make it more special  and special
Him: make any surprise and surprise
Him: make everything not as normal life
Him: then when they get bore
Him: they separate coz they feel enough
Him: and no more special coz it already more special
Him: then it's over
Him: like you friend they use to live together
Him: then one have to move back
Him: can not stay together
Him: then they can not stand that
Him: finally they decide to stop
Him: is it happy
Him: for me is not
Him: for me
Him: what ever my boyfriend or my lover stay
Him: I can love him
Him: where ever he is
Him: I CAN LOVE HIM
Him: i can feel him
Him: nothing more special
Him: just normal as normal
Him: got his sms sometimes
Him: hear his voice
Him: even not everyday
Him: I'm happy
Him: it's not necessary to know everything
Him: just know that he love me and nice to me is enough
Him: i never ask more and more
Him: just a little bit to me
Him: but last long and forever
Him: better
Him: not like love more more and more amore more more
Him: then have an expired
Him: coz I dont' want my love have an expired
Him: I want some thing normal
Him: but last long
Him: for me
Him: for me
Him: before I met u
Him: my life is so simple
Him: but since I MET U IT"S NOT SIMPLE
Him: and not special
Him: but as normal
Him: nor as 1 guy who have lover
Him: who someone to thinking of and that one thinking of me in return
Him: i need normal life not special life
Him: normal life is just I have u
Him: I can talk to u
Him: can send sms to you
Him: talk as normal in life what happen in the day
Him: or what u see what i see today anything excited or if not we just say hi say good night
Him: or just ask what dinner we have
Him: everyday like this is enough
Him: coz this is a simple life
Him: it's seem like we are together
Him: dont' need to talk so lone
Him: dont' need to talk so long
Him: some time when I'm with you with out say anything we just holding hand together and watching a romantic movie
Him: that a very good time
Him: and nice time
Him: I really love the movie Me my self
Him: I like that time with you
Him: we holding hand
Him: feeling the movie
Him: then we feeling together
Him: maybe I'm so normal and not excited
Him: so that's why I make you feel that I 'm not interesting
Him: but as I told you
Him: I like to be normal
Him: as life
Him: as everyday in my life
Him: even nothing so special but my life still going on
Him: i like that way
Him: but one ting I want to tell you
Him: if i dont' have u
Him: my life never be normal
Him: coz I dont' have someone to thinking of
Him: I dont' have someone to send sms every mornig
Him: I don't have some one to online and chat like this
Him: I dont' have some one o make me feel warm
Him: and thinking of every night
Him: my life will turn to be like a crab
Him: if I don't have u
Him: I have nothing
Him: i feel everyday that you love me kratai  noi
Him: if not everything is end already
Him: but I dont' want to end yet
Him: my film still running
Him: and the movie is not end yet…

And he made me cried. I could not image how much love he gave to me. I just felt it, drank it, swallowed it every single word he wrote to me.

I loved him everyday.

This time, I stayed with him in his apartment the whole time for 2 weeks. It was a good time for us. It was a ‘probation’ period for our relationship before I would propose to him. The sweetest moment I never forget in my life was time we shower together. He boiled the water and bathed for me. He took good care of me which he never did it for anyone else in his life until that time.

But that was not a good idea. I saw a cloud blocking between us. The cloud came from his diary of his first love. I read it. I was a bit sad but deep inside I was happy because now I understood part of his past. I found him a person with a good heart who loved someone unconditionally. His sacrifice to his lover made me cried. I cried and hoped he would love me like that. But this was wrong. I should not expect this from him since I and his ex-lover are different people. The way of love he gave me also different. I could not compare if which is better. It was not so important. I just wanted to feel his love to me real and deep. But the devil lies inside me does not think that. It is sleeping for long time before waking up and warn me. I wanted to destroy it. I wanted it to be dead inside me so it would not disturb my belief and trust in him. It is easy said than done. Sometimes, the devil woke up and kept telling me about his emotion leading my way to a mess to our relationship.

But I tried my best to stop it. I did all I could to be good to him and loved him as normal. But it seemed to me that my devil and the devil lies inside him could speak together to make a perfect plan to separate us.

And they began to act right after he lied to me about his debt.

(to be continued)
…………………………

5- Singapore Trip

The devil continued growing inside us. It ate our soul, killed our heart and slowly destroyed our relationship. We faced with many difficulties sometimes and the worst time happened when we went to our first overseas trip to Singapore.

Sometimes we yelled at each other. We began disagreement in many things. First, I stopped him from writing a novel on the web. Second, he stopped sending me morning message and ignored my calls sometimes. He continued go online and write his favourite novel about his ex-love. Then we moved to some argument with upset, ignorance and jealousness. Is it normal for a new couple? Yes, maybe. But definitely it would not help to build our relationship. It destroyed.

But none of us realized this side effect. We went on without hesitation that it could lead us to the worst situation that we never forget ourselves. We separated. We were done.

We planned that he would go Vietnam during my birthday to celebrate it with me. I made a nice plan for him and we planned to live in my new condo. It was a perfect plan if it could become a reality.

I changed the plan in the middle. I wanted him to join me in my business trip to Singapore. I knew he loved to go Singapore and this could be a perfect time for us to get away all of our anger. Unfortunately, it brought more anger and sorrow to us. But no one could know the future so we could not say if we did not do it. We did our dream trip to Singapore. I booked the ticket with Tiger Airway using my credit card and he would be responsible for the accommodation. But he was a bit busy to do it so I did it form him. I booked at the Hotel 81 Geylang for the first 2 nights then would move to stay at the Swiss Ohotel the Stamford, the tallest hotel in Singapore and maybe the World, right in the center of Singapore. It was beautiful to stay with the one you love in such a nice 5 star hotel. I loved that plan and seemed to me that no one could stop us from loving each other until the death separated us. But I was wrong. There was always a trick in everything we planned. A perfect plan also means a perfect dead end to trap us into our own destiny if we do not have a full heart for it. I fell into my own trap. I fell into my perfectionism as I ignored who my lover was and what he wanted. I just did it because I wanted not because we wanted. The devil told me to do his deadly way to kill my love. But if I was strong enough, I would not let it controlled me.

I failed.

Right before the trip we had a little problem. I was so stressful with my court case and he was a bit loosing to me, I felt that. He wanted to go to the hotel first not waiting me at the airport (He departed from Bangkok while I did it from Saigon). I wondered why he was so interested in going to the hotel instead of waiting for me.

“I am not the thing he wants to see most and first at Singapore?” I asked myself this question and I knew it was so wrong to think that way. But I could not stop thinking that way. I began questioning his love to me. I knew this happens since he broke my trust about his debt. But it was unfair as I already promised to him that I would not repeat this topic again. The devil continued pushing me toward this thinking and I conquered.

I failed. I began to questioning his sincerity.

This feeling led me go too far. It led me to action that I myself could not understand why. But deep inside I knew. I did it because I loved him so much, more than I would love myself. I really saw he was a part of my body, my heart, my soul and my life.

And what happened would happen.

I turned my back to him, leaving him behind with anger, surprise and sorrow at that MRT when he forgot his MRT card. I did it without hesitation, without any feeling if he is my lover, the one I love most.

I was so heartless.

I was so stupid.

I ruined our vacation. I ruined our good time being together just for a tiny mistake he made. He did not follow my way.

I should not act that way. My eyes looked at him with all of my anger. He felt it. He died with it in silence. He quitted and gone.

I went on a train. I thought about him. I wanted to run out of the train station to find him but the devil appeared and stopped me.

“Rabbit, don’t go! Don’t run after him. It is his mistake, his fault. Let him feels it and apologizes.”

“No, I want him. I should run for him” I yelled with hopeless. I failed. I did not run. I went on my way and he went on his way.

He left the hotel with a small note. He wanted to end. To him, it was too much to stand for it. It was so disgusting I made to him.

I broke his heart. He hated it. He hated my eyes looking at him at the MRT. He wanted to run away from me, leaving me behind with my own tragedy.

The honeymoon trip to Singapore turned out to be nightmare for me and perhaps for him. I guessed so. I then recalled the movie “Just Married” I watched before and feeling pity for myself. I faced the same problem with that young couple.

The past 3 days in Singapore was a beautiful time for us. We laughed. We played. We went out together. We took photos for each other but they were now all gone. Now only me left with full of tears, blood and fear. I ran everywhere to find him. The sushi I bought as an apology for my stupid mistake to him lying cold at on the empty table. I was not hungry. I did not want to eat. I just needed him to be back. I called his name in hopeless. I ran up and down the airport hoping he went there. I hit a car. I fell down and I got up. My leg was bleeding but I did not care. I must go to find him. I must do it.

And he was gone, forever.

(to be continued below)

......................................... :m7:
« แก้ไขครั้งสุดท้าย: 27-11-2007 19:59:54 โดย rabbit »

CoMMuNiTY Of ThAiBoYsLoVE

Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
« ตอบ #19 เมื่อ: 26-11-2007 21:21:54 »





มะนาว

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #20 เมื่อ26-11-2007 21:45:39 »

hi......rabbit.....

now, i'm reading......

i enjoy............

thanks for your story.......thanks a lot.....thanks....thanks....
« แก้ไขครั้งสุดท้าย: 26-11-2007 21:47:34 โดย มะนาว »

*~Kisa~*

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #21 เมื่อ26-11-2007 21:55:35 »

this is kinda sad   :o12:

waiting for next chapter.... hope he would come back

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #22 เมื่อ27-11-2007 19:09:39 »

It is with a mixture of sadness and joy when I read your story.  :m15:
I can feel that you depressed and thought that you did something wrong about your relationship.
Please stop thinking like that.

When you love someone, don't expect anything from him. No one can be a perfect lover. Everyone was brought up from different backgrounds, so how you are able to satisfy one at all time. No matter how much you try to do your best, it is still have time that you both have a disagreement.

Do your best. Whatever will be, will be..... :a1:

Anyway, looking forward to reading the next chapter, Rabbit  :a2:

rabbit

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[06] - [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #23 เมื่อ27-11-2007 19:46:22 »

6- The liar

He called me while I was still in Singapore.

I was standing at the balcony of the Stamford looking at the sky line of Singapore city. At night, the city becomes spackling with thousands of lights coloured on the outside and inside of each buildings. I could see clearly the Church, the river, the quay… where we went together a few days ago. My tears running down my cheeks when my room phone ringing.

“Who could that be? Is it William or Christ, my friends in Singapore?” I wondered.

“Yes, speaking. Who is that?” I answered the phone.

“It’s me, X”

Silence.

I was dead to hear his voice again. He called me. He was crying.

“I am back Bangkok already. I went to the net shop and I have read your mail.” Slowly, he said “ But I am sorry I cannot transfer the money to you because what happened to me after I left the hotel I wrote in my email to you.” I could hear his tears running down his cheeks.

“What has happened? Can you tell me?” My voice became so weak. I cried too.

“You should read your email and you will understand what happened.”

“But I want to hear it from you. Can you please tell me what happened to you?”

He then went on to tell me of what he has suffered since he left me at the hotel 81. He lost his wallet containing his sim card, Thai ID Card, ATM, money… He told me what happened to him. I heard it with all pain. I was so painful that I made my lover suffering from my anger. I was so damned to make this worst scenario for myself and my lover. I would never forget me to do that to him.

I would never forgive myself this terrible mistake.

We both cried. We both said in tears. We loved each other but we put damn things to each other.

“Why didn’t you give me that chance first?” He asked but not expecting my answer.

“I’m so sorry for doing that to you. I’m so sorry.” I could not complete the sentence since my tear kept running down and down.

All of my sadness came suddenly so I cried.

We agreed putting this aside and continued with our plan and love. But the devil inside me kept reminding me of his sincerity. “Why he had to make that choice?” came across my mind all the times I thought about him.

I was tired.

Something then happened. He changed. We less talking, chatting and sometimes he did not send me a morning sms.

He went to a farewell party with his colleagues and then he changed. I felt it. I got angry again. I pushed him to the edge. I questioned him about the money. I needed it and I put it all on him.

He quitted. This time he really meant it. We canceled his trip to Vietnam and changed everything. We also changed our destiny. We were back to the worst time again because of me and him. We stopped trying. We let our devils controlling our love, our destiny and finally we broke.

On my Birthday, he sent a short sms at midnight “Happy Birthday krab ”. Sound abrupt. Sound strange. Not like a message from a lover to a lover. I called back. No answer. He ignored me.

It was done.

But I did not give up coz I loved him. I did my best but the more I did the worst I was. I became so miserable. I became so stressful.

And when I was so stressful, I got more anger and I put it on him again.

He just kept silence. He just simply walked away from my heart and my life heading to a new relationship.

I went to Bangkok to find him to let him know I missed and loved him very much. But he denied me. He wanted to stay away from me. All what I did to him, he ignored it coz he already had someone with him.

I could feel it. I could sense it when I went back to his apartment to collect all my clothes. I saw his new phone while he returned me my phone I gave it to him 3 months ago.

“You don’t like it?” I asked

“Yes I like. That’s why I buy a new Sony Erikson. But because you need it so I give it back to you. You can give it to your sister or someone else…”

I deadly sat there to hear his sarcasm words. I should not see him. I should stop loving him. But I can’t do it. I just let my heart going its way.

I was hopeless to see strange clothes in his house.

“They are belonging to my friend from Samui. He came here to study and I let him staying with me for a few days.” He read my mind. But I sensed it not simply just a friend. But since I loved him, I trusted him for whatever he said. No doubt, no worry.

But all the sadness and horror came to me from him colonized me. He lied. He lied to me everything from the story happened to him at MRT in Singapore until the story of his Samui friend. He became a liar since when I could not imagine.

I uncovered it when he came to my hotel on Friday night at 3AM after a long night stand with his new lover at JJ Park. He was drunk when I went down the stairs to pick him up my room. I helped him to take off his clothes and brought him to my bed. I looked at him sleeping like a child with many feeling.

I wanted to say something but it was not right time so I let him lying there and sleeping.

I went to sleep, too.

Morning, I woke up. My plan was to go Chatuchart on that Saturday with him. But he was drunk and got headache so we changed our plan. When we went down the hotel lobby, he got his ID card back. I saw it and I knew immediately. He did not loose it in Singapore as he wrote in his email to me 2 months ago.

He lied.

Yes. He accepted it when we confronting each other at Esplanade. I wanted to know what motivated him to tell lie to me for everything.

“Yes I didn’t lose it. I created this drama as a reason to run away from you and all your problems”

“But what problems?”

“Everything”

“Is it my love to you a problem?”

He lied. He betrayed my love to him. He betrayed my trust to him. He put me into sorrow for months thinking because of me he got into problem in Singapore. I could not forgive myself for what I did badly to him in Singapore.

Now, everything is gone because it is not true. It is a drama, a story like many stories he told me to deny my love, my sincerity. It perhaps a drama he wrote in his novel for everybody to read and comment on the net. He did it so perfect that I had no doubt about it. Or I too much trust him, too much love him,  so I blind myself?

“For what reasons you need to tell lie to me? Why?” I cried again. I cried for the sadness inside me, for the so rude he was to me. Where was his good heart gone? I just wanted to be dead immediately not to face with this terrible truth. I wished I could never think or hear about him in my life. But I could not.

I saw him in my dream with accidence after few days since we fought. So the next day, I put away my pride to call him and check. He got accidence right before my call. He needed to go to a hospital. I was so worried.

Really, destiny brought me to him at that sauna. Now destiny notified me he got accidence. It seems to me that God is joking me. He does not want me to stop thinking, dreaming and loving this person. I can't deny my destiny. I can't disobey God's order.

What I would do now?
  :o11:
……………………………..
(to be continued)
« แก้ไขครั้งสุดท้าย: 27-11-2007 20:29:37 โดย rabbit »

rabbit

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[7] [ENGLISH STORY] If love is real in this world ....
«ตอบ #24 เมื่อ27-11-2007 20:11:51 »

7- The accidence.

I followed my heart. I went to the hospital. I had no idea of where this hospital was in this huge city. I just go and find with his light lighten up my way.

I searched for him in the hospital near Phloenchit. I found him sitting alone in the Reception area waiting for his call.

"How are you?" I asked him. One of my hand I put on his shoulder.

He was a little surprised and puzzled.

"How can you find me?"

"I followed my instinct. If I want to, I can." I meant to him I wanted him. I cared for him. "Does he know it?" I asked myself with no answer. I am not him.

"I'm waiting for the bill." He said. I could see his embarssing looking at me. He looked at his phone. He was worried. I did not care that. I cared only for his health after the accidence. He then got up and walked quickly to the side of the crowd. I saw him talking to a man.

"This is A, my friend, who went with me on that bike and we got the accidence together. He got a minor injury with his chest." He introduced his friend to me.

The friend looked at me with puzzling. I watched him from the first moment I saw so he was about 1,64m or 1,65m, the same height of my lover. He had a tummy and looked a round to me. His eyebrow was dark and his face was not happy seeing me with my lover. I understood who he was but again I ignored it and let my lover directing his own drama.

"How are you? Are you okay?" I cut the cold air between us. I shaked hand with A, "Nice to meet you. X told me sometimes about you so it was great to know you today. So, what has happened to you, A?" I did it normally, naturally like he was a real close friend of him.

"i'm fine." A replied. Then he fell into silence. I was a bit disapointed, about everything. I was feeling sorry for him and for my lover.

The Nurse called his number. He got up and went to the counter and then found another seat at the other side. I sat next to A, tried to hold a conversation with him. But he was uncomfortable.

"You should go with him" A said to me. I looked at him, felt pity for him again then got up and went to X.

But I did not sit next to him. I sat on another chair against the wall, waiting for his medication.

When everything done, he asked me to go down the stair to the canteen. He needed to take some pills.

"How about your friend?" I asked. "Would he be okay to be alone?"

"He is fine. Just go"

We went down. We went to the Au Pain Bon shop to buy a croissand with a Latte.

"Can you drink coffee? I cannot drink it now" He said.

"I usually not drink coffee, you know it. But today is okay. Get a chair and table yourself, I take care of it and bring it to you. You are sick. Don't be worried for me." I advised him.

He went to a table from there we can look at the stair and the hall. I paid the bill and brought the food to his table. I gave him the bread. He took it.

"I apologised for what I said to you on last Saturday" He said.

"What? Don't mention it. I forget it already. I did not remember anything. Finish your bread and take medication, nah."

He followed my order. He ate.

"How about your friend?" I asked again. "Why he followed you to your office?"

"He went to study at Bangkok airway office"

"Really?" He shook his head to agree. I continued, "Why he needs to go with you to your office at Asoke? Is it Bangkok Airway is at the Chatuchart market?"

I could see an embarassing appreared on his face. He lied again. He mumbled "Ah, uh, he will then took the bus to the airport."

"I see, I said, I thought he can take the bus from Pharam 9 station to the airport quicker than to go with you to Asoke." He could not believe I knew everything in Bangkok. I went to Bangkok my first time was 12years ago and since then every year I came here 2-5 times. So I must knew something about this city.

"Forget it, I changed the topic, maybe he wanted to be with you. It's normal between friends. So, aroi may?"

He shook his head again. I felt pity for him. He was too slow and not smart as I saw him few months ago. He changed. Not for the good thing but for the worse thing. A painful was running inside my heart. He looked loosing weight, darker and so sad. Or he was acting in front of me? I sighed.

"Oh, here is my friend. I need to go with him to check if everything is fine."

He ran to see his friend. When he was back, he told me,

"I need to go with him back to my room coz he had the room key and he wants to rest. I cannot go to my office."

"Fine, You take care of yourself and your friend nah. I go back to my office. My boss is waiting me there for lunch." I then went with him to say goodbye to his friend. I walked away with no feeling. I knew that friend was his new lover.

A bit sad came to my heart but if it is our destiny, I must admit it. I cannot force destiny I just follow it.

Is it destiny set by God or by people? Many people will answer it is God. But I believe that God just does his job, people actually set their own destiny. They make their destiny by doing wrong thing then blame God for his sake.

Our destiny is the same way. It was not set by God but by us, a little from my side and from him. He set it up by creating his own drama, by keeping telling un true story to me. He pushed me away from him. He escaped me but in reality, he escaped his sin. He torn me down completely not because of stopping loving me but because of his drama.

It is so terrible to think about it. It is a sin. He let me live for such a long time with sadness and repentance. I could not forgive myself with my mistake. I lived in misery. He made me believed that I was sin to him by leaving him behind in Singapore so he faced with many problems.

In fact, he went out to the bar, the pub that night, drinking, chatting or doing something fun (maybe, who knows?) while I was running with tears, fear and blood to search for him.

“Would it be nice to treat your lover that way?” He owns me this answer.

Destiny, again isn’t a detention from God, it is a beautiful gift from my lover. I could not deny it. I admit it and take it as its way.

I cannot force destiny. I cannot deny it neither. I must accept it as its way, leading me to nowhere. I am sinking, sinking deeply inside my memory with my heart is full of him. But I cannot live that life like that. I need to get up and go on my life. I need to be strong.

I started to do it my own way in answering his destiny.

I began to act.

(to be continued below) :a6:
.........................
« แก้ไขครั้งสุดท้าย: 27-11-2007 20:49:55 โดย rabbit »

coloniser

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] I CAN'T FORCE LOVE (If love is real in this world ....)
«ตอบ #25 เมื่อ28-11-2007 03:10:07 »

 :m13:
Just post a comment before reading eiei

rabbit

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[8] [ENGLISH STORY] I CAN'T FORCE LOVE (If love is real in this world ....)
«ตอบ #26 เมื่อ28-11-2007 18:44:32 »

Delete
« แก้ไขครั้งสุดท้าย: 05-12-2007 20:15:48 โดย rabbit »

ANA

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] I CAN'T FORCE LOVE (If love is real in this world ....)
«ตอบ #27 เมื่อ28-11-2007 19:05:17 »

Well, it's time to practice my English  :a6:

Not reading yet, but following up then.  o7

Be cool!   :m9:

rabbit

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] I CAN'T FORCE LOVE (My last Chapter...???)
«ตอบ #28 เมื่อ28-11-2007 19:25:05 »

I decide to delete it since it is no more needed....


kakakakakakakakak

« แก้ไขครั้งสุดท้าย: 04-12-2007 20:15:00 โดย rabbit »

ออฟไลน์ กลั่นกรอง

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Re: [ENGLISH STORY] I CAN'T FORCE LOVE (If love is real in this world ....)
«ตอบ #29 เมื่อ28-11-2007 20:10:00 »

 :give2:  First english story in this board,

I like your story

Opened with sweet and warm.
But the end   :m15: :m15:

I'm very grade  to joy your story.

ps. Capture the good time in your mind and get the bad things out of your head.

I hope,you will be OK soon.

เขียนอะไรผิดบ้างปะเนี่ย

 

สนใจลงโฆษณา คลิกดูรายละเอียด สนใจลงโฆษณา คลิกดูรายละเอียด สนใจลงโฆษณา คลิกดูรายละเอียด สนใจลงโฆษณา คลิกดูรายละเอียด สนใจลงโฆษณา คลิกดูรายละเอียด สนใจลงโฆษณา คลิกดูรายละเอียด สนใจลงโฆษณา คลิกดูรายละเอียด สนใจลงโฆษณา คลิกดูรายละเอียด


สนใจ คลิกดูรายละเอียด สนใจ คลิกดูรายละเอียด
สนใจ คลิกดูรายละเอียด สนใจ คลิกดูรายละเอียด